A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter

Grade: A

Singer Sabrina Carpenter hosts this Netflix Christmas special which consists of musical numbers and comedy sketches.

I’m not saying this is revolutionary in the grand scheme of Christmas variety specials, but this feels like it has a bit more of self-awareness including an entertaining opening number that is a little meta about Christmas specials. The sketches as a whole ain’t too shabby, including one funny musical numbers. Carpenter seems to be genuinely enjoying herself hamming it up in the funny bits.

The singer was quite the get for Netflix. Besides her popularity in the music world (you can hear three different songs by her on the radio right now), she is also charismatic (she started off as an actress, and played the best friend on Girl Meets World, so she knows how to perform non-musically).

The more traditional musical numbers are enjoyable as well. The costume department really put an effort into the outfits.

The surprise guests are satisfactory (and there are several). The ones that are the most fun are the ones that aren’t necessarily the most famous people they could get,  but the ones you can’t predict.

Recommended. If you don’t like non-scripted variety specials, this isn’t going to change your mind. For everyone else, this was a fun, silly time.

Family Guy: Gift of the White Guy

Grade: B-

In this Christmas Family Guy special on Hulu, Peter Griffin (voiced by show creator Seth McFarlane) has to find a gift for his company’s white elephant gift exchange, and Stewie (also McFarlane) tries to turn over a new leaf, so he can stay off the naughty list.

Just like the Halloween special, this appears to be a regular episode that was arbitrarily called a special and put on streaming. 

This is a somewhat stronger entry than the last one.The Brian (again McFarlane)/Stewie b-plot was stronger and more unexpected than they usually are. There are a couple truly funny moments. Also, Peter’s logical-minded boss Preston Lloyd (The Orville’s Peter Macon) is in this, and he is always fun. (It has occurred to me that he is Peter’s fifth boss, man, Peter has gone through a lot of them).

However, this does have another worn out Peter/Lois (MadTV/The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s Alex Borstein) storyline where it does not really focus on their relationship, but it still feels toxic and worn out. 

Also, this wholesale recycles a subject for a joke from an earlier Christmas episode and not as well.

Recommended if you are a fan of the show that still watches, but not a standout or entry point.

Hot Frosty

Grade: B-

In this new Netflix Hallmark-esque romcom, a snow sculpture named Jack (played by Schitt’s Creek’s Dustin Milligan) is brought to life by a magic scarf and falls in love with the widowed Kathy (Mean Girls’ Lacey Chabert).

This movie has garnered itself a bit of attention with its basic premise of what if Frosty the Snowman was hot (and heterosexual and bi ladies and gay and bi men, the advertising is not false; you briefly see Milligan shirtless, and he does not skip gym day). Writer Russell Hainline (who has 3 different Xmas romcoms made from his scripts this year; good for him) runs with this silly idea with a decent script by the standards of these of these films.

The romance is standard, but the script is having more fun than you would expect. Honestly, Jack’s interactions with the local townsfolk are more entertaining than his courtship of Katie. 

There is more comedy than expected with one joke that made me chuckle a little. They hired a couple of comedy veterans to play the comic relief: The Office’s Craig Robinson and Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Joe Lo Truglio as the town’s ego-driven sheriff and simple-minded deputy, respectively. They really are the most entertaining part as they do the most with their characters and have the best delivery.

Milligan was prime casting: a handsome guy who knows how to do comic delivery. Chabert, however, is just okay, doing a basic performance.

Kinda recommended, if you don’t like Hallmark-style films at all, this will not do much to change that, but I do feel it is stronger faire for what it is, and effort was put into the setting and humor.

Red One

Grade: B+

In this new Christmas movie, Santa Claus (played by J.K. Simmons) is kidnapped. His bodyguard Callum Drift (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) is forced to team up with underworld tracker Jack O'Malley (Captain America's Chris Evans), who was used to locate Santa’s location, to find him.

This is sort of like the movie Constantine. It sounds like a concept that will be done in a very basic manner, but you are surprised to find out that the directors/writers put more effort into it than expected.

Director Jake Kasdan, who directed the recent Jumanji movies, brings the kind of energy he brought in those. The action scenes are well choreographed, and the movie is well placed. Also, the build up to final bad guy is built up to surprisingly well.

More importantly, it feels like Kasdan and the writers had fun with the idea of juxtaposing an action/spy movie with a Christmas movie, with ideas that could've been too obvious in theory that work in practice. What I liked best about this is that instead of going with a more colorful children's type of film, that could've had candy cane fighting staffs, a Santa's village with bright colors and traditional-looking elves in security outfits, this feels a lot more inspired by classical/mythological Christmas that's been getting more popular with the spread of Krampus. I appreciate that this includes a Christmas-related folkloric being that hasn't really been given emphasis in film before, and not just go with only Krampus again (there are actually a lot of other anti-Clauses and other Christmas-related figures throughout world history than you think; Alsac Lorraine has Hans Trapp, a scarecrow that eats children, for instance. No, he isn't in this. Yes, I'd like to see that one day, too).

The "guy-on-the-naughty-list-finds-his-Christmas-spirit-and-his-humanity-again" has been done plenty of times, and I cannot lie that Jack's character progression isn't the most obvious and least entertaining part of this, but I do give the writers credit for realizing that. Red One is kind of the movie Chef in that the redemption story is lean and mean and doesn't bog itself down with obvious "the-character-has-briefly-turned-away-from-what-he-has-learned" tropes. Also, Callum as Jack's conscious honestly gets through to him using some discussions that haven't been done in these films before.

Evans is a highlight of this, as he’s always good at playing the cocky guy. It is also appreciated that while he’s a criminal, they do make him three-dimensional enough and his apathy understandable instead of an over-the-top Ebenezer Scrooge-type.

Johnson on the other hand doesn’t fair as well. He’s being “serious Rock” here and not “charismatic Rock”. He feels wasted, and also it feels a little odd that his character, for a morally good person, is so unpractically aggressive and threatening to Jack, before he even has the chance to refuse to spill information.

The best part of this is the look. The movie’s takes on Santa’s sled and the reindeer are solid reinventions. (Not loving the elves, but it is a choice, and I give the filmmakers props for trying something new). Going back to this being more mythological Christmas-inspired. This has one of the most traditionally cozy-looking Santa villages (remember when they used to make Christmas-themed buildings for model trains? It is like that), and honestly I feel it is one of the best renditions.

The editing can be a little choppy at times, but it isn’t a deal breaker.

Recommended. Admittedly, having to go through the “message-of-the-film” moments again may kill the rewatch value, but this is a fun time. If you liked the recent Jumanji movies, you will probably like this.

Hannah Waddingham: Home for Christmas

7.5/10 

Ted Lasso's Hannah Waddingham hosts this Apple+ musical Christmas special in front of an audience.

Wouldn't have thought of Waddingham hosting one of these but in retrospect she's a perfect choice. She seems genuinely happy to be there, has her trademark presence and liveliness, and it turns out has a wonderful singing voice.

Accompanying her a are a bunch of talented singers and dancers that make this a solid special, albeit one that doesn't do anything to break the mold. Several TL cast members are in this (surprised they're not calling this the Ted Lasso Christmas Special). It's nice to see them, but the one weak point to this is the obviously pre-filmed sections they feel they have to do with some of the cast. They're not that entertaining and feel like they're just there to fill up time.

Recommended. Nothing complex, but makes for a fun quick viewing that works for when the family is deciding what to watch or to have something in the background.

The Naughty Nine

6.5/10

In the Disney Channel/Disney+'s The Naughty Nine, kid Andy (played by Winslow Fegley, who's name you might not know but he's been a lead or at least main character in a surprising number of films recently) doesn't get a present from Santa Claus (Lethal Weapons' Danny Glover) because he's on the naughty list. Feeling cheated, the self-serving Andy decides to assemble a crew of other kids on the list in order to break into the North Pole and get the presents they wanted.

What follows is an average Disney Channel story. The characters, the moral lesson and the plot are alright. However, the film never reaches as high a beat as it could have. The idea of a Christmas heist film is a good one, and one watches it and cannot ignore the wasted potential and think how this could've been done better. Still, this is from the jaded adult mind. I don't see your children being so picky.

This is a Disney Channel movie in which there isn't a theatrical film-level budget, but the budget is higher and the creators put more effort in than you expect. The North Pole/Santa's Village doesn't look half bad. (Would've preferred more variation with the various buildings, but I'm probably nitpicking.) Sets, effects, and costumes are all colorful. The outfits in this especially stand out.

The child actors here are on average just okay. The two actors who play Andy's parents I felt weren't so great. (Though in fairness, it could be the script and direction. They're the type of parents who aren't aware of their child's wrongdoings and they come off as kinda dumb.) The advertisements for this stress that Danny Glover is in this, but he isn't in it that much, it's the situation where the famous actor clearly came in for one day's worth of filming.

Recommended specifically for children. For adults, you've probably got other films that are a better way of spending your time, but this will probably pique children's interest.

Violent Night

 

7.5/10

Santa Claus (played by Stranger Things' David Harbor) delivers presents to wealthy Gertrude's house, which at the same time has been taken over by a heavily armed group of thieves. It's up to St. Nick to fight the robbers and save her family. So, yeah, this is exactly Santa Claus in a Die Hard.

Yeah, Violent Night was advertised as a tongue-in-cheek action film and it delivers. The majority of this is the writers trying to come up with inventive, Christmas-themed kills, and they pretty much nail it. (Bear in mind, if this is the sort of thing that bugs you, for a movie that's trying to have goofy fun, the civilian death count is higher than you'd expect.) 

The violence is pretty much why people will watch this, never mind the plot. The script itself is uneven, featuring some fun or clever parts and some that are just okay. Santa is well characterized and his interactions with the matriarch's granddaughter Trudy (Leah Brady), a true believer in Christmas, are well handled. However, the rest of the family are just kinda there, or in the case of Trudy's aunt's family, a little too cartoonish and one note even for this.

Harbor, who I noticed with his new found-fame often picks the let's-have-fun projects like Winter Soldier, Hellboy, and that Netflix special he did, knows exactly what's he's supposed to do in this, playing a jaded  and entertaining Santa, and he definitely nails the John McLaneesque hero-thrown-in-the-fire-pan role. Admittedly, a lot of the cast, played by people I've never seen before, are just alright. To be fair, the script isn't Shakespeare. The two actors who do make the dialogue work are the other two known actors in this, Beverly D'Angelo as the tough, no-nonsense Gertrude and John Leguizamo as the robbers' leader Scrooge (his codename, don't worry about it). Credit should especially given to Leguizamo. Lesser actors probably wouldn't have made the dialogue work. Though Scrooge has a good backstory, he's a basic Christmas villain who happens to have beef with the holiday. Leguizamo really manages to bring personality and conviction to him. Okay, still not the strongest antagonist ever, but it's a solid performance. 

Recommended. I mean, the movie earns its R rating, so if violence isn't your thing then it isn't your thing, but I think most people will have a good time. 

Beebo Saves Christmas

7.5/10

In this animated CW Christmas special starring Beebo (voiced by Ben Diskin), the toy who's appeared in the show Legends of Tomorrow, the titular fuzzy character gets a form letter in reply to his letter to Santa. Fearing that something is wrong he goes to find Santa Claus (voiced by Ghostbusters' Ernie Hudson).

This was a rather well made Christmas special. Not one of the greatest of its kind, but it definitely gets the job done. Script is lighthearted, and most importantly, smartly written. You think the special may go down the path of the traditional tropes of people getting too caught up in the modern age and forget the importance of Christmas, but I was pleased to see this have a less suspected endgame. 

Beebo makes for a pleasant lead. They make him upbeat and optimistic but never naive or simple-minded, so when he reacts to things he never feels cutesy or saccharine.   

Strong vocal cast, including some experienced actors. LoT alumni Victor Garber lends his rich voice to the position of narrator. I don't think anyone's really pictured Hudson as Santa, but he lends a fresh take on the Yuletide figure.

Only weak point of this are the songs. They're not particularly strong.

Recommended. This is something that can entertain and is appropriate for the whole family. It's too bad this didn't get much advertising from the CW. This definitely deserves more attention. 

Fatman

 

9/10

In Fatman, we get a sort of semi-grounded and semi-realistic take on Santa Claus (played by Mel Gibson), in which he has become grumpy and is losing his faith in humanity. Meanwhile, a particularly nasty child (played by Good Boys' Chance Hurstfield) has hired a hitman (Walton Goggins) because he got coal in his stocking. This is one of the most original films I've seen in a while. 

What's so remarkable about Fatman is that it's able to balance dark comedy and human drama in a story about Santa Claus. The whole thing weirdly manages to fit Chris as he's called in this into the real world. Instead of a traditional, classic Santa's workshop and village we get a farm with a factory that looks like an actual factory. Directors and screenwriters Eshom and Ian Nelms do an excellent job of directing. The majority of Fatman is the buildup to the hit on Santa. The movie is rife with exposition and characterization, but I never got bored because the directors do such a great job of pacing everything and switching between the various cast members. It doesn't hurt that the dialogue is great.

Great cast across the board. Mel Gibson does an excellent job portraying an Old Man Logan/Wolverine style of Santa. He manages to still imbue the traditional aspect of Santa's generosity toward his fellow man beneath his tired exterior. (I'm complimenting the performance, not the person). However, it is Goggins who steals the show. His hitman (referred to as Skinny Man in the credits) is a wonderful combo of quirkiness, charisma, intelligence, and cold-blooded efficiency. The movie is almost as much his as it is Santa's. 

This was clearly filmed on a budget, but the Nelms did a great job with what they had. A lot of the locations they picked looked pretty good, and they did a surprisingly good job of the more fantastical elements of Santa. (No reindeer, though, sorry.)

I highly recommend this unless you're not a fan of R rated films in general. (Yeah, in case the hitman didn't tip you off, this isn't your traditional Christmas family fare.) If you're looking for something else, than this is for you. It's just a hell of a well made film. 

Santa Chronicles 2

 

8/10

In The Christmas Chronicles 2 on Netflix, Kate (played by Darby Camp), one of the leads from the first film, finds herself and Jack (Jahzir Bruno), the son of her mother's boyfriend, transported to Santa's village. Though they're naturally thrilled to be there, there is a sinister reason behind their trip and they and Santa Claus (Kurt Russell) and Mrs. Claus (Goldie Hawn) have to save Christmas.

This is an enjoyable sequel. I did like the first film more, because I felt it brought a little more to the table. This is more of a traditional Christmas film complete with the well-worn trope of the villain who wants to ruin the entire holiday. But, it's a polished predictable film. This is directed by Chris Columbus (Home alone 1/2, Harry Potter 1/2, and Adventures in Babysitting) who is well versed in how to pull off family fare. A lot of stuff is squeezed into this (including a giant mountain lion!). Whereas the first one mostly took place in the mundane world and only a little at the South Pole, this is the exact opposite. Santa's village is the primary location here. It looks nice and really fits the bill. I appreciated the first one for being a little edgier than expected for a Christmas film. This plays things safer, but there are a couple scenes where the film took chances.  

Again, Kurt Russell as Santa is the best part. He's sort of like a hip, fun uncle Santa. Hawn ain't too bad herself as Mrs. Claus.

Understand that only so much money went into this and the computer effects aren't always perfect.

I recommend this. Christmas Chronicles 2 may not be the most ambitious of films, but it's fine holiday viewing for you and your kids.