Snow White

Grade: A-

Next in Disney's growing longer line of live-action remakes is Snow White. (If you're wondering why this one took so long given its fame, I recall that they were working on a SW project from the very beginning, but it was going to be a Snow White/Rose Red movie that was going to be more of a re-imagining like Maleficent or Cruella. The project fell apart after a few years.) In this, Princess Snow White (played by the West Side Story remake's Rachel Zegler) must flee into the forest in order to escape her stepmother The Evil Queen (Wonder Woman/The Fast and the Furious' Gal Gadot), who wants her dead.

This differs a bit from the other remakes in that the creators approached this with a bit of a more light-hearted feel to it, giving the movie a more humorous nature. It's like they said to themselves "We've got seven funny dwarf sidekicks in this. Why not lean into the comedy?"

It helps that the plot to the 1937 film was really simple. So, this the gave the movie room to be its own thing and make changes. There is more to Snow White's journey here and more characters. A big weakness of a lot of the remakes is that the live action can't compare to the original animation films. I'm not saying this surpasses the iconic original, but honestly, a lot of scenes are filmed naturally and lively enough that the difference isn't egregious and you're not thinking as hard about it. The movie's version of Hi Ho is probably the musical number that comes the closest out of all Disney remakes to competing with the original. It's one of the most engaging parts of the movie. The final confrontation with The Evil Queen isn't as strong as the original. I'll give you that.

Admittedly, Snow White's quest to save her kingdom is a smidge predictable (we've all seen this story before). Also, the specifics for why The Evil Queen's been able to ensure loyalty from her guards and maintain power is really vague. (The strongest part of the movie is the middle which doesn't focus on kingdom stuff as much).

Zegler really drives the film. She is super sincere and does an excellent job of being kind and compassionate without seeming like a paper thin character. 

The Evil Queen, however, IS a paper thin character. She values beauty and power and that is it. I find it odd that she values personal appearance, but lives in dark, poorly lit interiors most of the time. Her decadence feels odd. She likes jewels and good food, but that's it. She doesn't have fancy parties or statues of herself and seems like a shut-in. Her lessons in beauty being power don't even make sense. However, Gadot is doing her best playing the Queen as a complete b***h.

The movie also has a pretty good cast as the voices of the seven dwarves. I'd say that Ted Lasso's Jeremy Swift's Doc is my favorite. He manages to pull off being a kind leader who's also sorta silly.

The movie looks great. This is directed by Marc Webb, who helmed the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Say what you will about the second film, but no one complains about the look of it. (In Webb's defense, that movie had a lot of studio interference.) The world of Snow White is so colorful, particularly the use of cherry trees and the princess' outfit. A lot of detail went into the sets, especially the dwarfs' house. The dwarfs are computer generated, and the switch to 3D came out looking good and detailed, managing to make them still look comical without feeling like they are in too separate a world from the human characters.

The movie ditches all the original songs except the classics Hi Ho and Whistle While you Work. Honestly, the rhythm for most of them are REALLY 1930's dated and will not work for some people. However, many will miss the song "Someday my Prince will Come". Yeah, it's a dated concept, but they could've reworked the lyrics. The new songs by Dear Evan Hansen/The Greatest Showman/Spirited's Benji Pasek and Justin Paul are fun. I'm not saying this makes the top ten of Disney movie soundtracks, but it knocks more recent entries like Moana 2 and Wish out of the park. (The songs are Hercules/Pocahontas level.)

Recommended. Yeah, the status of Snow White's kingdom is weakly written but on a whole this is an enjoyable time with an old-school sense of Disney joy. Most kids will enjoy themselves.

The Day the Earth Blew up: A Looney Toons Movie

Grade: B

The Day the Earth Blew up: A Looney Toons Movie is a movie of the Looney Tunes Cartoons, the Max show that was a throwback to old timey Looney Tunes cartoons. It was originally intended to air on Max, but Warner Discovery's new head David Zaslav had it canned with several other films. (Children's films with classic Looney Tunes and Hannah Barbara characters particularly got the axe because Warner's been having trouble hitting that children's market). However, this movie managed to escape oblivion when a separate distributor bought it. In this movie, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig (both voiced by voice actor Eric Bauza) try to stop an alien invasion.

This is kind of like the Jetsons Movie back in the day in that it is not a perfect movie, but still pretty watchable and looks great. The plotting on this can be a little odd, with some stuff happening too quick or characters and plot points delivered at odd parts. It's partly funny. There are some truly great bits in here, but a lot of jokes are also just okay. Also, there are a few "modern" bits that don't mesh well with the more retro feel of the movie.

However, the story itself is a lot stronger than the jokes. It makes for a wild ride and has sort of an old school 90's feel to it. The alien aspect has a sorta of quasi-spooky, but isn't really scary atmosphere that can bring kids and adults a bit of excitement.

The brother-like relationship between the carefree Daffy and the cautious Porky (they were raised together in this story) makes for relatable protagonists. Funny thing is, I wouldn’t even say their personalities are as strongly written as some other incarnations, but it’s that bond that makes them compelling. The duo have your average “two-polar opposites-have-their-friendship-threatened-by-their-differences” storyline, but the movie has it developed mostly naturally. DtEBu shows their differences and building tension in smaller moments without having to yell the point of the story at you.

If you're a fan of talkative, self-centered Daffy, you won't find him here. Since this is a retro film, DtEBu went with old-school wacky Daffy. Some may not want this, but in fairness, some works, like The Looney Tunes Show, can go TOO far with his selfishness. I like friendly, well-meaning Daffy here. (BTW, Bauza is doing a great job as the duck).

The third main character of this is Petunia Pig (voice actress Candi Milo). I like what they did with her character. She's always been a bit of a blank slate, since her personality has always simply been "Porky's girlfriend," so the writers had some free room to work. In this, she's an eccentric and enthusiastic flavor scientist at a gum factory. You weirdly become invested in her obsession with the next flavor. (And yes, Daffy, Porky, and Petunia are the only Looney Tunes characters in this. This might disappoint some, but it keeps the story focused.)

The BIGGEST reason to watch this is the 2D animation. It really feels old school. It is so fluid with characters rarely being stagnant. The character designs in general work really well. Humans are all distinct and exaggerated without being too simple-looking. (Keep an eye out for Farmer Jim (voice actor Fred Tatasciore), the man who raised Porky and Daffy, who creatively shifts between being done in still background art and being SUPER fluid). Backgrounds are vibrant and colorful. Not loving Porky's light yellow gloves here. The color just doesn't blend well with anything else.

Recommended. Kids will probably like this and the humor more and not care too much about weaker plot elements. Adults will like the parts that do work and the fantastic animation.

In the Lost Lands

Grade: C

This adaptation of the short story by George R.R. Martin takes place in a futuristic dystopia after the collapse of society, which also has magic in it apparently. The witch Gray Alys (played by the Resident Evil movies’ Milla Jovovich) is given a task by The Queen (Amara Okereke). In order to do so, Gray must travel to the lost lands and hires the aid of guide Boyce (Dave Bautista).

This is directed by Paul W. S. Anderson (The Resident Evil movies, the first Mortal Kombat movie, Alien vs. Predator, and Event Horizon), and like with his last couple of films, he seems to be losing his touch. The movie at first keeps you a little interested with some of the mysteries and the intrigue of various parties with different goals working against each other, but the payoff at the end is disappointing, ridiculous, and overwrought. Also, they don't explain the rules of this world or how magic in this world that is also an apocalyptic wasteland works at all.

This is one of those adaptations where you say to yourself “Oh, I can see how this may have played out better in written form.” The problem is that Anderson’s basic-level “let’s have fun with the action and over-the-top moments” approach doesn’t jive with R.R. Martin’s more serious political intrigue style. Anderson tries to make stuff sound important, but he treats it all too lightly to ever sound sincere.

That all having been said, this is a Paul W.S. Anderson movie. Some of his movies can be disappointing, but I don't think he's ever delivered one that is completely awful. He's always been able to deliver at least some fun popcorn movie ideas or action, and this has its mindless fun moments as well. (I will glady watch this movie any day over Zack Snyder's sorta similar in spirit Rebel Moon movies. Anderson at least feels like he's having fun.)

Yeah, the director has once against cast his wife in the lead, and Jovovich again plays the same sort of character who is good at fighting, but she as always manages to give a decent performance. Jovovich and Bautista do pretty well with what little they have material they have and they do work well off of each other. Though her performance might not technically be good, Okereke plays her role more over-the-top than anyone else and it is something to watch.

The majority of this film is obvious and mid-level CGI. A lot of ItLL doesn't visually set itself apart from other apocalyptic movie worlds, but there are a couple good set pieces; the castle of the Overlord is a fun design.

Not recommended. Not something one can't get through, but nothing that makes this required viewing. 

Plankton the Movie

Grade: B+

In this new SpongeBob Squarepants movie on Netflix, the show's villain Plankton (voiced by Mr. Lawrence, who also co-wrote this), the diminutive evil genius, takes the center stage. He and his computer wife Karen (voice actress Jill Talley) have a falling out after years of his evil plans not working and him not listening to her. She goes solo and proving herself to be a far more competent and dangerous threat to the underwater town of Bikini Bottom and the entire world. Now, Plankton has to team up with SpongeBob (voice actor Tom Kenny) in order to save his marriage.

This has been a real step up since the last two films. (They had their moments, but both left something to be desired.) This feels more like prime SpongeBob, with goofy jokes, including some strong physical humor, and a little classic weirdness thrown into the mix.

Honestly, I'm surprised that the show hasn't done this story in its 25 years before. The script writes itself. Plankton and Karen have always had a comically tense relationship, and it always seems like Karen would be a whole lot better at the whole evil plan thing if she took the initiative (honestly, she's the most level-headed character in the entire show). Nice to see her brought to the forefront. (In Sponge out of Water, her role just ends part way through the movie without any follow up.) Her updated form, with three new personalities make for a bigger threat than any other movie antagonist.

What makes the script work in particular is that even though Plankton is a real big jerk in the movie, it still strangely manages to make us want to see him repair his relationship. We get to see the history of Plankton and Karen's love story, which is weirdly touching while still having them both be bad guys. (I feel that it really helped that Mr. Lawrence was involved in this in that he knows Plankton down pat and what to do with him).

I wouldn’t say I had any major cons about this movie, but if you’re one of those parents who don’t like it when shows don’t set a good example for children, understand that there are some pretty mean insults thrown around in this.

It seems that over the past three movies the animators have been slowly trying to perfect the 3D animation in an attempt to best translate the look and feel of the original 2D show. (The last film only came out a year ago, and I’m surprised at the stark difference of the animation styles between these two.) This honestly feels the closest. Characters have a smoother, more painted feel to them. Also, the movie is really colorful. 

PtM is a musical. Some songs are better than others, and I'm not saying this is one of  the great children's musicals, but it works overall. Karen's solo song is a real banger.

Recommended. I feel this is the second best one next to Sponge out of Water. (Yeah, I know a lot of people love the first movie, but only the third act really works for me.)

Captain America: Brave New World

Grade: B

Sam Wilson (played by AnthonyMackie), the new Captain America, investigates an assassination attempt on new president Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (Harrison Ford taking over for the late William Hurt).

The general backbones of this are rather good, but the execution isn't perfect. The general story, villainous plot, and characters work well. This is a solid political thriller and feels more like the spy thriller we wanted than with Black Widow.

No complaints about Sam's ascension to the lead. He shares Steve Rogers' optimism, though he is more realistic about the obstacles the world throws at you. The movie also rolls with the fact that this Captain America doesn't have super strength, and he has to make the effort to deal with stronger threats. (Of course, he has years of military training and a cool flying suit; so that helps.)

Ross has been a semi-consistent face in the franchise since the second film, but always a supporting character. Him being the focus feels well earned and culminates his story. He's been a morally grey character, and this movie addresses this as he deals with actions from his past.

Also, Captain America works really well alongside his new sidekick (introduced in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier limited series) Joaquin Torres, the new Falcon (Danny Ramirez). Whereas Steve and Sam work together, because they were two similar guys, Sam and Danny work, because they are opposites (Sam is more grounded, while Danny is more jokey), and they work well off each other.

However, the plotting  and dialogue aren't 100%. The movie doesn't feel as "realized" or as natural as the last 3 Captain America movies, not to mention a lot of other MCU films. Brave New World is directed by Julius Onah, who directed The Cloverfield Paradox, which a lot of people had a problem with structurally. (Honestly, I didn't hate it.) There were reportedly a lot of reshoots, and there are moments where characters were clearly green screened into scenes.

There is one moment in particular which partially states what we already know and feels odd. The main villain, who is played by a good actor, feels not used to their full potential. Also, Ross is trying to improve and Captain America is trying to see that in him, but it feels a little unbelievable when CA still tries to believe in Ross when he makes objectionable decisions.

No arguments with the casting. Mackie has all his scenes locked down. Though it’s hard to buy Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito, who is in his 60’s, playing evil mercenary Sidewinder, as a legitimate physical threat, Esposito does come across as a clever and effective baddie, even though he’s doing the sort of character he often does. (Given how popular he's been after BB, I'm surprised it took so long for him to make the jump from television and get a prominent movie role.)

A little of this movie is set up by the F&tWS, so you might want to see that first.

It is really too bad that Hurt passed before he got his big chance to shine. I think he would've done a great job with the role. Not only does Ford look really different from Hurt (and how Ross has looked in the comics and the first Hulk movie), but he also has a different energy: more grumpy and emotional. However, Ford does an excellent job and is not coasting. He makes one both hate and sympathize with Ross.

Yes the general look and action scenes don't match the first 3 films, but the movie still has its moments. There are two really standout, traditional over-the-top MCU fight scenes. I also like how this manages to be a political thriller, but also manages to use a brighter color scheme without sabotaging the mood.

Lightly recommended. It is the weakest CA movie, and maybe not one of the strongest MCU movies in general, but I still found this to ultimately be a fun time, and something that looks good on the big screen. I'd have no issue rewatching this any time.

The Cleaner

Grade: B

In this British take on the Die Hard formula, window cleaner and former soldier Joey Locke (Daisy Ridley from the most recent Star Wars trilogy) is stuck on the outside of a skyscraper when ecoterrorists take over the building.

Though there can be significant gaps behind fights, the action in this is good. (The director is Martin Campbell, the man behind The Mask of Zorro, Goldeneye, and Casino Royale. Yeah, he might no be longer at the height of his skill, but he still knows how to provide some decent action.) The Cleaner sets itself apart from other movies in the genre with the whole stuck on the side of the building gimmick. Joey's there for an unexpectedly long time, and her surviving out there as things get worse makes for some good and new spectacle.

I gotta say that ecoterrorism made for a watchable motivation for the villains. More stuff happens with them than you'd expect.

However, the build-up to the hostage situation is a slow burn. The beginning also shows Joey's relationship with her brother. I know it's to show her character and build her journey, but it's a LOT of them just being upset with each other. Tonally, the movie does feel a little confused and doesn't know how light or dark it wants to go.  

The Clean has a pretty good cast and characters. Ridley makes for a solid lead, though honestly, it's the group of villains that are the best performances and the most entertaining parts. (The villains are hidden a bit, so I won't spoil for them for you if you haven't seen the trailer yet.)

This isn't a movie you need to see in the theater, but it makes for a decent watch.

The Simpsons: The Past and the Furious

Grade: B+

This is an "exclusive" Simpsons episode on Disney+. Yeah, it's another basic episode that they arbitrarily decided to put on streaming, but at least they're honest here and not calling this a special. In this "what if" Simpsons story that has gotten more common in recent years, Mr. Burns (voiced by Harry Shearer) has destroyed all wildlife with his industrial complex. A stressed-out Lisa's new therapy equipment ends up sending her back in time, where she meets Burns as a young man. Lisa (Yeardley Smith) decides to stop Burns from descending into evil and an anti-environmentalist mindset.

This wasn't a half bad choice for an exclusive. I'm not saying this is prime Simpsons, but it is well done and another example of the show being stronger recently. The plot is more novel and thought-out than expected. They're able to unload a decent amount of story in a natural manner within the constraints of twenty-some minutes.

Jokes work as well. The funniest part isn't the main story, but Homer and Marge's reactions to Lisa claiming she can time travel.

Recommended.